Joke
1: Sunday School Lesson
Little Janice was not
the best student in Sunday school. Usually she slept through class.
One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, "Tell
me Janice, who created the universe?" When Janice didn't
stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took
a pin and jabbed her in the rear.
"God Almighty!" shouted Janice and the teacher said,
"Very good" and Janice fell back asleep.
A while later the teacher asked Janice, "Who is our Lord
and Saviour." But, Janice didn't even stir from her slumber.
Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again.
"Jesus Christ!" shouted Janice and the teacher said,
"Very good," and Janice fell back asleep.
Then the teacher asked Janice a third question. "What did
Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?" and
again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin.
This time Janice jumped up and shouted, "If you stick me
with that thing one more time, I'll break it in half and stick
it up your ass!"
... the teacher fainted!
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Joke
2: Guys Held Hostage With Cannibals
3 Guys get stranded
on a island. While they're there, they meet 2 cannibals. The cannibals
take them to their leader. The leader says that if they can find
10 of a fruit or berry or whatever and stick them up their butt
without making a face, they can live. Otherwise their head will
be cut off.
The 1st guy comes back
with what looks like apples. He gets to 4 and makes a pained face.
He gets his head cut off and he goes to Heaven. The 2nd guy comes
back with berries and gets to 9 and laughs. He gets his head cut
off and he, too, goes to Heaven.
The 1st and 2nd guy
meet up in Heaven and the first guy asks the other guy why he
laughed. He had berries he could have lived. The second guy replies,
'I saw the 3rd guy coming back with pineapples!!!" LOL TOO
FUNNY!
Joke
3: Conversation
with Barack Obama
Barack Obama was seated
next to a little girl on an airplane trip back to Washington.
He turned to her and said, "Let's talk. I've heard that flights
go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger."
The little girl, who had just opened her book, closed it slowly
and said to The Obama, "What would you like to talk about?"
"Oh, I don't know," said the Obama. "How about
What Changes I Should Make To America?" and he smiles.
"OK," she says. "That could be an interesting topic.
But let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer
all eat the same stuff - grass. Yet a deer excretes little pellets,
while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps
of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?"
Obama, visibly surprised by the little girl's intelligence, thinks
about it for a second and finally says, "Hmmm, I have no
idea."
To which the little girl replies, "Do you really feel qualified
to change America when you don't know shit?"
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